A Conversation in Arabic about “America” with Ahmed, an Egyptian Expert in “American-ism”
(who does not read or speak English and
has never had an American friend nor ever visited America, but who
keeps up daily with the latest news in Arabic about American
organized crime)
(cf. My other piece “A Conversation
with an American Expert on Islam Islam-ism”)
*****
John: So, I was watching this
documentary on Pittsburgh the other day...
Ahmed: Pittsburgh! MS13 is moving in on
the Latin Kings' turf on the west side. In fact, there was a hit last
night near the Warhol Museum.
John: Yeah, Warhol—what you think
about him?
Ahmed: Miloslav Warhol the Russian? The
Butcher of Fresno in the early 1990s? What are you talking about?
John: No, Andy Warhol...
Ahmed: Little Ukraine in Chicago, 1930s?
John: 20th century American
visual artist, from Pittsburgh.
Ahmed: Right, got it! Makes sense why they
would name a museum for him. Let's see... Studio 54, drugs, partying in New York.
Probable connection to the Gambinos.
John: But what about Warhol? What do
you think of his legacy?
Ahmed: Well, his second cousin's grandson
just got picked up in Cleveland with 2 kilos of coke. Some
“legacy...”
John: But do you like Pop art? Marilyn
Monroe? Campbell Soup cans?
Ahmed: Who is Marilyn? What is Campbell
Soup? What are you talking about?
John: You're an expert in American
culture?
Ahmed: No, that's American-ist culture.
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