Public Enemy No. 1

If a new law passes, New York City will ban Crisco use in restaurants, although it appears that it might remain on store shelves, for a while at least.

This might make it hard for vegans to enjoy pastries, since the only substitute for Crisco is butter or lard. A total ban on Crisco would also radically reshape how busy people cook, since--as anyone who's ever watched Jacques and Julia knows--when you make your crust with butter, you have to chill the crust in between mixing it and rolling it out.

Further, I think such a law might oppress those of a certain class position who were raised with Crisco. I know, the diet was subsidized and legislated... But one could say the same for "Border" (Tex-Mex) food, with its tripe, mystery meat, and "refried beans," the culinary leftovers from white society's desire for filets and T-bones.

And some might argue that tripe is also dangerous. But just try to ban it, I dare you...

I say, rise up in defense of Crisco!