Just Wanna Know

Revolutionary Propaganda Organ

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Titanic Football

Gators are reptilian ice bergs. Ninety-eight percent is below the surface, invisible, except for the nostrils and the two little eyes sticking up.

When the Ohio State band played "My Heart Will Go On" at halftime last night in Glendale, I wonder how many of the 37,000 Buckeyes who traveled to Arizona thought it was a bad joke. At that point OSU was down 20 points to Florida.

It was a moment just like halfway through the movie: half the Buckeye Titanic was sticking straight up awkwardly, just like Navigator Troy Smith right before being sacked, again. Half the team was already underwater, just like Engineer Ted Ginn Jr., who partied too hard after his opening kickoff return TD, messed up his ankle, and had to sit out the rest of the game. And Captain Jim Tressel could do little more than man the lifeboats.

At least the SEC was redeemed, after both Arkansas and Tennessee were defeated in theri bowl games. Here's Florida defensive end Jarvis Moss's comment after playing OSU:

"Honestly, we've played a lot better teams than them. I could name four or five teams in the SEC that could probably compete with them and play the same type of game we did against them."

And probable future presidential candidate John McCain got in his coin toss just in time, an early photo-op for 2008, when it will again no doubt be necessary for any successful candidate to find a way to carry Florida and Ohio.

Hey, sometimes even a sinking ship can be a goldmine.


At 5:57 PM, Blogger Peggy Brunache said...

Whatever! GO GATORS, that's what this alum says!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! What an ass-whuppin!

At 7:19 AM, Blogger John Schaefer said...

You know, I would like to say that I expected it, since I know how tough the SEC is. But I got snookered by the Ohio hype machine... But as you say, Whatever! Next year Arkansas!


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